Everyone seeks happiness. Sometimes it can be difficult to find to the degree we would like. Aldous Huxley said he was surprised to discover that after years of research and experimentation, the best answer to finding happiness was just to “be a little bit kinder.” While it seems only logical that happiness should center around us, it really centers on others. When kindness is extended, it can allow us to have the same surprising insight Walt Whitman had: “I am larger, better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.”
Time by its nature is limited, but there is always time to make more of ourselves and to increase our own happiness and feelings of self-esteem. It is never too late to become who you might have been.
After demonstrating a close relationship between happiness and kindness, Your Unfinished Life summarizes two classic works on kindness, supplemented by author commentary. The book features many captivating and heartwarming stories. There are dozens of quotations from The Dalai Lama, Marcus Aurelius, Wayne Dyer, Mother Teresa and many others to guide and smooth your path toward happiness and personal fulfillment.
Table of Contents
1. Kindness and Happiness
2. On Kindness (1911)
3. Kindness (1892)
4. Finding Yourself Through Others
5. Conflicting Thoughts On Kindness
6. You Can Make A Difference
7. 40 Ways To Be Kind
8. Make Someone Happy - And You Will Be Happy Too
9. Concluding Thoughts on Finding Happiness
Recommended Resources on Happiness and Kindness
About The Author
Lawrence J. Danks is an Assistant Professor of Business at Camden County College in New Jersey, where he teaches management, international business and business law. He previously served on the full time faculties of Stockton State College and Atlantic Community College. He holds an MBA from the University of Missouri and a BS from Seton Hall University. An author of four previous books on real estate, advertising, and career advice for college students, he is a licensed real estate broker, state approved instructor and former real estate school director.
Reviews
Dr. Raman Kolluri Review
Often, we mistake kindness to be mere pity towards some one less fortunate than we are. But in this extraordinary book, Professor Danks has taken us through a fascinating journey of different faces of kindness. Quoting extensively from authors of different backgrounds, cultures and religions, he has made kindness in to an art form.
Thinking and feelings are the greatest assets bestowed upon mankind. But most of the people use them only for fulfilling personal obligations and needs. We hear people often saying that they have no time! God has given the same amount of time for all of us! Most of us do not realize that being kind to someone is extremely rewarding for both giver and the receiver. It need not cost a lot of money or time and need not even be a great deed.
On a cold winter morning, I was in the hospital waiting for the last moments of life of my wife. I was in such a shock that I did not even know what was happening. I had to come home briefly to make arrangements for the funeral. I found that my driveway and sidewalk were cleaned. Without saying a word, my neighbor has shown me what kindness is all about!
All of us remember such acts of kindness towards us. But how many of us can remember acts of kindness we have shown towards others? Not many of us can leave legacies like Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr., but Prof. Danks has shown with numerous examples how each one of us, in our own small way, can make a difference in someone else's life and bring a little cheer in their time of need. The person or persons towards whom we show kindness need not be even known to us!
When I was a small boy in India, at one time, the village where we lived was completely submerged by flood waters. Only a few buildings with two floors were above the water level. My father ordered food in large quantity be prepared and left on the porch of the second floor. I was wondering why. He said that it was meant for those rescuers who are feeding the marooned people!
There are so many examples in this book which show how to spread kindness like the fragrance from a flower garden. Prof. Danks has done great service by bringing the concept of kindness in a lucid exposition. This book is a mirror of what life should be! It is well organized, easy to read and contains quotations which can guide us towards having a positive and fulfilling life. I will treasure this book and read it as often as possible to remind me constantly how to be kind to others and make my own life meaningful in the process.
Raman Kolluri
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Gordon Livingston, M.D., Psychiatrist and Writer
Author of The National Bestseller: Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart - Thirty True Things You Need To Know Now:
"Larry Danks has kindly given us this valuable guide to the successful pursuit of happiness and meaning in our lives by suggesting many ways that we can cultivate the queen of virtues: kindness. All who read this book and reify its lessons will be ennobled thereby."
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“Reader Views“, Paige Lovitt:
“Your Unfinished Life offers both inspiration and insight into finding happiness and success. The author, Lawrence J. Danks, has discovered that the best way to find this is through living a life filled with kindness. In his book, he offers a discussion on how to live with kindness. I was elated to discover that there were many things that I was already doing and I felt I was on the right track. There are also many more actions I can take to further enrich my life by acting with kindness. By doing so, I can brighten the lives of others.
In addition to offering lots of inspiring quotes, Danks also offers a chapter on “40 Ways to Be Kind.” He came up with a variety of ideas I felt would be fun to incorporate into my life. Some were as simple as offering to take a group picture so that the cameraman in a group doesn’t get left out. Another one, which would bring an incredible amount of healing to me, would be to forgive others. It doesn’t mean I have to let the wrongdoer off the hook and offer myself to be mistreated again, it just means that I let go of what happened and move on with my life. Danks points out that this is also healthier for us.
His ideas really resonated with me. It is very important to note that while Danks encourages us to be kinder to others, we are not encouraged to put ourselves in positions where we can be taken advantage of.
While reading Your Unfinished Life, I discovered that the more I thought about how I can be a kinder person, the less I thought about what I have missing from my life. I suspect that others will discover this as well. It makes sense, because I believe that the more that we are spiritually fulfilled the less need we will have to fill our lives with material things. I encourage you to challenge yourself with this book. It will offer you tons of inspiration for your journal. One of the best gifts that you can give to yourself or loved ones is a copy of Your Unfinished Life by Lawrence J. Danks.”
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CourierPOstOnline.com – Kim Mulford
South Jersey Face: Lawrence J. Danks
As an associate professor at Camden County College, Lawrence J. Danks, 63, of Barrington instructs students on management, business law and international business. But his yen to share what he knows goes beyond the classroom.
The Lindenwold native's soon-to-be-released book, "Your Unfinished Life," collects some of humanity's common beliefs about kindness and the search for happiness.
Q: You write that you grew up in a funeral home (his dad was a funeral director), which taught you that life is short. What was it like to grow up in a place often filled with grief and sadness?
A: While I saw grief and sadness, our family life was good and secure.
My father used to say frequently that when it's our time, it's our time. For some, that is far earlier than we expect and it can cause great sadness. But at those times it's just important to realize that it may be for a reason, which sometimes we can't begin to fathom. Sometimes that becomes clear later. Sometimes it never does. At times like that, faith and trust in God, support of our friends and family, and believing that we will see our loved ones again can give us much-needed support.
Q: What makes you happy?
A: It makes me happy to be with my wife and people I care about, to go out to dinner and to travel. But what really counts is to be fulfilled by having close relationships with those who are important in our lives, to be able to do things to help people, even small things.
Q: You share stories of your parents and their kindness to others. Were your parents happy people?
A: My mother did a lot of charitable work and my father was in a unique position to help people at times of great loss in their lives. They were both very good and caring in what they did. . . . I think the greatest gift they gave us, however, was a real belief in faith.
Q: There must be a lot of opportunities to be kind to others now, given the state of our economy. Do you see any other silver linings in this cloud?
A: There are always opportunities to be kind, even when we have problems ourselves. Naturally, current conditions provide even more opportunities.
There are always silver linings. Even with something as tragic as 9/11, people were given unprecedented opportunities to step up to the plate to assist many others.
Q: You cite the teachings on kindness from a number of religious traditions, belief systems and authors. What struck you the most about their common call to be kind?
A: The Dalai Lama noted that kindness was a common element in all religions. There are many who don't believe in God or organized religion. However, kindness and the benefits of it are not limited to religious believers. Anyone of any faith, or of none, can share kindness with others and be the recipient of it.
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Thomas R. Carpenter - AB, MEd.:
In "Your Unfinished Life", a banquet of inspirational philosophies are laid out by author Larry Danks for personal choice. Kindness is a quality in life that this world could and should employ a great deal more.
An analogy of what is presented here makes me think of a Parisian flower booth and picking out the blooms that are personally meaningful. You make up a bouquet that will have a positive affect on the rest of your life if practiced. Congratulations to Professor Danks offering the readers an enhancement to their lives of both giving and receiving.
(October 18,2008)
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Bill Cleary, Publisher Emeritus - Gloucester City News, Gloucester City NJ and Editor of ClearysNoteBook.com:
“All of us have days that we go through life oblivious to our fellow man. I can honestly say after reading just a few chapters of “Your Unfinished Life” I found myself looking for Acts of Kindness to perform. I am more aware of the less fortunate.
A thought provocative book, Mr. Danks has compiled a number of encouraging quotes that will impact your life. A must read for young and old alike, I highly recommend “Your Unfinished Life.” (October 20, 2008)
“Kirkus Discoveries”
" A well-considered,compact guide to centuries of literature about kindness and happiness…”
“Danks invites readers to contemplate the legacies and memories they will leave, sharing numerous passages and summaries from literature and self-help books that direct people to happiness through sharing and kindness...He argues that we all have time left to improve our quality of life by doing simple tasks. Urging generosity, compassion, selflessness and grace, the book compiles many sources of wisdom into a concise volume, with some tips for everyday behaviors that may guide pilgrims on this path. He believes that these positive changes will bring rewards to the giver as well as the recipients, including creating a sort of good karma feedback loop in which practicing kindness can make a person more thoughtful and aware of their surroundings...Danks also recognizes the largest argument that many people may have against improving their lives—not enough time—and provides references and examples to illustrate how space can be made for kindness. The book concludes with 40 simple actions a person might take to incorporate kindness into daily life.”
Midwest Book Reviews
***** “Well worth reading for those who want to be the person they think they can be”
“Unless one is already a corpse, there is still time to change. "Your Unfinished Life: The Classic and Timeless Guide to Finding Happiness and Success Through Kindness" is a book encouraging readers to embrace change for the better and don't let something like age or obligations stand in one's way to finding true happiness in one's life. Saying that not doing so ends with one having countless regrets, "Your Unfinished Life" is well worth reading for those who want to be the person they think they can be.”
Joann Wright
***** “Excellent Advice”
“This book offered timeless and meaningful advice of value to anyone who wishes to become a better person. The path of loving-kindness is part of the strategy of many religions, but this is a secular view. There are innumerable fascinating quotes by some of the best ethics and spiritual philosophers in Western culture. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in spiritual growth.”
Tom Butler-Bowdon - Best Selling Author of: 50 Self-Help Classics
"This book shows that kindness is not 'soft', but a strength that makes life better and richer for all concerned. There can be few more important subjects to write on, and Danks elegantly and forcefully lays out the case for kindness with many great examples."
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